Cut my hair to become anew- I’m still me.
Colored the shit to feel something- my feelings remain.
Fear can disguise itself as courage. It does every day.
Pain can disguise itself with smiles and movement. We do it everyday.
Feelings of light and love and comfort flutter my soul as of late.
My fear is hiding, my pain has so no place these days.
Blessings of sincerity and honesty have been absorbed into my veins and pour out of my pores.I have been given a gift.
Two months ago, I felt the tides shift. I felt within me that this was something new. That someone new was coming and that they were here.
I found you. You found me.
Luck is luck but this is real. Reality in love and light and something I can fucking grasp. Something I can fucking scream about and not be told to hush.
Someone who wants me purely as me and no one else. Me as me and no one else. Not too much. Not too extra. Me.
Something that sounds generic though is everything but. Loose plans for the future, tight visions of growth.
And I fucking swear I won’t be in a place without this kind of strength again. Without this solid belief of what I am and who I’m with. Truly and fully. This life is too short to waste time with those you know aren’t right for you. And they don’t have to be bad to be wrong for you. This isn’t a game we play on paper. This is a life we live- together and separate, we are living this and doing this and you better fucking make it worth your while. We may get more than one life but this is the only one you’ll get that’s like this. Take that shit.
I’m not over here to be a sap ass baby and get all mush mushy on my love life but goddamn I’ve never felt so appreciated, so secure and so genuinely loved by another. Someone who gets excited to learn me even when the parts they’re learning aren’t the best parts. They are happy to be here, with me, as I am with them.
Thank you universe and thank you to myself. For listening to my gut & to the universe and knowing when the time to leap is happening and knowing when your guard is no longer relevant.
Love is real.
So maybe I don’t need to change my hair to be me. To feel in control. I’m in control every day when I wake up and brush my teeth. I’m in control every evening when I make my food instead of buying it. I am in control when I write this instead of simply thinking it.
I am me. I am forever growing, always learning and unconditionally loving you.