What do I feel
Blame. Guilt. Pity.
No surprises here.
I feel like my worth is only measured by my relationships.
If it doesn’t work- it’s obviously me.
I can’t tell if I’m clocking out because I’m scared or if I’m leaving because I know what’s right.
I can’t differentiate what I want between what I want to want.
I can’t drop comparisons between what people have and what I can’t make work.
The failure of a relationships hits me like a flaw of character within myself. Is this the case? I just can’t tell.
Am I not ready or do I just not want to try?
Relief but heartache.
I think I just don’t want to be alone.
I think I don’t like being with anyone either.
I’m doing my best not to spiral like my past self has so easily done.
I am trying my hardest to recreate the muscle memory I have so absent-mindedly let fall suit in my life and in my mind.
I am trying- but only for me really. Little twinges for you but trying so hard for me.