What do I feel

Blame. Guilt. Pity.

No surprises here.

I feel like my worth is only measured by my relationships.

If it doesn’t work- it’s obviously me.

I can’t tell if I’m clocking out because I’m scared or if I’m leaving because I know what’s right.

I can’t differentiate what I want between what I want to want.

I can’t drop comparisons between what people have and what I can’t make work.

The failure of a relationships hits me like a flaw of character within myself. Is this the case? I just can’t tell.

Am I not ready or do I just not want to try?

Relief but heartache.

I think I just don’t want to be alone.

I think I don’t like being with anyone either.

I’m doing my best not to spiral like my past self has so easily done.

I am trying my hardest to recreate the muscle memory I have so absent-mindedly let fall suit in my life and in my mind.

I am trying- but only for me really. Little twinges for you but trying so hard for me.

I need me- fully and solely

35mm film


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