To write every day. That’s something I can control. To express some fraction of self even if we hide the rest away.
I feel inspired to love myself. To be there for me and allow my learnings to expand in order to grow the love I have for myself and for life. I want only to create- with myself and others, alike. My yearning urge to make and build is strong and I want it embraced.
Like the flower to the bee, welcoming what nourishes me.
I had a saved text to send to you for ays and finally realized it wasn’t meant to be sent. The wasted efforts I’ve put guiltily upon you could so easily be gifted upon myself. This is where my goals stand. To love me as much as I try to love them.
I lost my journal in an airport in The Bahamas. Love, hate, blood. Heartache and not- my soul was in that book. Progress made and not lost. I pray someone found it. Someone worthy of my words and my heart and my drawings. I pray they help you as they have me.
I read today, “Become what you are being forced to- before it’s too late”. I look to this and feel hope and gratitude for the opportunities that have been so carefully flowing my way. Upon taking risk, I am quick to feel fear more than any other emotion. Though I am becoming ever more present with this feeling and increasingly more aware of it’s necessity and how little it truly is.
I vow to myself to continue growing. To continue writing, even in the days that feel like nothing should noted- in truth there is nothing not worth noting. I hope to grow in these moments and branch out from the ambiguity that I so often portray so I can finally release what’s real. What’s current, present and ever lasting in my soul. I want to share.