It’s fair in fact that vulnerability breeds a bit of sadness in the soul.
Though making you bold, it also feels like weakness in the way that you squish a bug with your finger tip- feels of my feelings in your hands.
While often a mark of strength and growth, vulnerability has a way of letting the ego rear it’s ugly face in the moments of love and care.
Where we should be showing compassion and understanding, it is too frequently an easier solution to respond with annoyance and frustration.
I see the emotions come out in myself and while fierce and strong, I recognize them as emotions not true to what I hold within my heart and my mind.
Instead I see them as feelings of weakness in that they allow me to short cut the situation by sticking within myself and my own beliefs rather than exploring the reality that my partner, friend, colleague is valid in their thoughts and feelings as well.
These relationships do not deserve the bitterness that resides in my bones, nor the annoyance that I allow to fluctuate in my responses.
I recognize myself in these moments as a woman without control over what she is doing. Lacking the strength to feel and see what is beyond her own self.
I am thankful for the patience those who love me instill within me. So rarely responding to me as I have to them.
My largest goal as of now is to work consciously towards the way I react and respond to those around me. More so those I love, as they are often the ones to receive my wrath should it occur.
So thank you, to those who know and those who listen. Those who love.
I will continue to work towards my best self for not only me, but for you as well.